Monday Musings: Keeping Life Simple
It's been over 5 months since you last heard from me. I know – seems like an eternity. If you follow me on instagram, you know I've been struggling maintaining a career, a start-up brand, and Capital Confessions, all the while preparing for a wedding and getting Tyler through the last few months of nursing school. I was at a stage where I just needed to hit "pause" on something and the easiest thing to "pause" was this...
I'm excited to say, "I'm back!" – well at least I think I am. I'm still trying to see where Capital Confessions fits or what it's going to evolve to be, but I know one thing is for sure, I've missed pouring my mindless banter(heart) into my online world. I've always loved having this space to share my life, what I'm working on, what I'm thinking about, but if I'm being honest, it isn't always easy. There's so much pressure out there – comparing yourself to this, that, and the other. Trying to come up with something new at each turn, and wondering if it's even worth it. So my musings this Monday is going to be 5 things I've learned during my hiatus. I'm getting real here – so if you don't have anything nice to say...
1. Know when to take a step back.
It's okay to hit the "pause" button. At the beginning of this little "break" I've been on, I felt like a total failure. I was a little moody and very frustrated. I was dissatisfied with virtually everything, and I felt myself slipping in to a negative attitude and way of thinking. When I set out on this last year of my 20s I set a goal myself and I saw that goal as being directly tied to my success with my blog. The funny thing is, about that time my business started booming, I was achieving successes in work left and right, and my personal life seemed to be headed in a very good direction. All things that I should be proud of, and yet I felt like I was failing. Little did I realize that I needed this "break" to show myself that goals are good, success is what I make it, sometimes I need to step back, and what I "do" is for me and me alone, no one that loves me is going to judge me if I don't post something on my blog. Because of this "blog" break I've been able to focus my energy where I need to, and because of that this break feels different than all the others I've taken over the years. This break taught me something...
2. Success is what you define it to be.
At the end of the day, you define your goals and metrics of success. If that's really the case, then why do we judge our success by what others are doing and accomplishing? I think we all fall prey to this, but over the past few months during my hiatus and goal planning I've found that I really struggle with this. There are a lot of issues with this mentality. First and foremost, as you achieve and grow, there will always be someone "ahead" of you. That someone will be more successful or that will have already reached a stage you're not at (yet). If you're always focusing on that other person, you're not going to see what you've done, what you've learned, and what you need to do to achieve that next step. If you take a step-back, you realize that if you use other's success as an encouragement instead of a comparison you'll achieve your next success much faster. Look to others and see what they've done and learn from it, but don't nit-pick and compare, that ultimately wastes time.
3. Sometimes I like to sit there and do "Nothing".
It's okay to relax. It's not okay to be lazy, but not doing something is not in and of itself "lazy". What's lazy is when you don't do something because you don't want to use the energy to do it. Being lackadaisical has never been something I've struggled with, and I don't intend to start now. However, I can run out of energy because I've overextended or overcomplicated my life and my mind. That's when I get lazy, and with that laziness comes vexation and irritation. I need to trust myself and take those relaxation breaks before I get to a point of frustration and lack of energy. Creativity doesn't bode well in a lazy environment. The core of my work-life is creativity. If I can't relax, I can't create, and I can't be successful.
4. Goals are good.
I've always tried to set high standards for myself. When I was younger and would tell my mom said "standards" she would respond "Goals are good." As a teenager and young adult those words drove me mad. I know she didn't mean anything by it, but I sure am glad she said them. As an adult, I finally get it. Goals are good. Goals push you as you work towards them, but they aren't mandates. If you don't reach them, you aren't automatically a failure, you just have to evolve them to fit reality. This is something I'm working on, but the more I realize that goals aren't a mandate, and if you don't achieve them you fail, the more successful I am becoming at achieving my goals. Maybe I'm gaining maturity and setting more realistic expectations for my life, or maybe by relaxing I'm able to take each day in stride and focus better, but whatever it is, I'm glad I've found this place.
5. Do it for you. Not anyone else.
The moment I realized that all of this should be done for me and not someone else was the moment that everyone I knew started asking me about why I'd been so MIA. I think we all get a skewed sense of how much people in our lives really care about us and we can sometime depend on that caring more than we should. Someone wanting you do something shouldn't be the reason you do it. Likewise doing something because you want to see or hear someone else's reaction shouldn't be why you do it. Sure, with a blog or website you can look at the analytics and follow the numbers, but sometimes the numbers are just that. Faceless hieroglyphics that don't mean much. They're great for advertisers, growth forecasting, and "potential", but they don't tell the who and why someone is following your journey. Trust the path you choose. That's what I'm trying to do.
That's all she wrote folks. Thanks for reading. I'm excited to see what this next phase of Capital Confessions becomes over the next few weeks and months. You're going to start seeing more of "me" not who I thought I needed to be as a blogger. I'm going to share glimpses of what I do for mollyanne.co, wedding planning successes and failures, as well as the usual recipe, vacation, and DIY. Hope you enjoy!